Turf wars.

This is the story of two teachers living in the burbs. Teacher Lady and Teacher Man both teach at-risk high school students. They mow their lawn and shovel their walk. They act neighborly toward their fellow burb dwellers, sharing tools and eggs as needed. Teacher Lady and Teacher Man support Barack Obama for President.

Two months ago, when Obama/Biden yard signs were on back order at all the local campaign offices, Teacher Lady bought a $5 Obama/Biden yard sign at the county fair. It was an understated sign, but it was theirs. She brought it home to show Teacher Man and he pounded it firmly and proudly into their clean, suburban lawn.

One week later, Teacher Lady walked down their gleaming concrete driveway to get the morning paper. On her way back to the house, she turned to gaze fondly at their Obama/Biden yard sign when --

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-- where was their Obama/Biden yard sign? And why was there a 'Lot for Sale' sign in its place?

Not knowing what to do (since Teacher Man was playing golf and she was home alone), Teacher Lady called Daughter to tell her tearily that someone had stolen their Obama/Biden yard sign. Teacher Lady was quite distressed, as was Teacher Man when he arrived home a short time later. Being good, property tax paying citizens, they knew to inform the authorities. They called Mr. Police to report trespassing and theft and, while Mr. Police did the job he came to do, it wasn't without a hint of irritation that he wrote up the report.

Later that day, Mr. Police returned. In his arms was their Obama/Biden sign, mangled and sodden. 'Is this yours?', he asked them. 'I found it in the ditch along a nearby road.' Teacher Man collected their yard sign and firmly and proudly re-pounded it into their yard.

In the week that followed, their suburb sprouted a dozen or so McCain/Palin yard signs. Given the conservative bent of this particular suburb, Teacher Lady and Teacher Man felt neither surprised nor threatened. They gazed upon their Obama/Biden sign happily as they drove their Prius to and from work each day, until --

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--where was their Obama/Biden yard sign??

Not again, they thought. This time, rather than call Mr. Police, they called the One Other Obama Lady in their suburb for support. One Other Obama Lady said, 'Fear not! I will get you a larger sign!'

One week later, they received their larger sign and it was larger and sturdier than all the McCain/Palin signs on the block (which, by this time, had doubled in number). Teacher Man nailed their larger Obama/Biden sign decidedly to the side of their house and, oh, was it a glorious sight to behold! The right to support their candidate without fear of violation or censorship had returned to them at last!

The following week, Teacher Man went away to a Teacher Conference and Teacher Lady stayed with Daughter and Daughter's Partner. Upon their return home on Thursday, they stopped at the mailbox at the end of their gleaming driveway where, buried in the stack of bills and magazines, was a letter from the Neighborhood Association Lady. 'This letter is to inform you,' it said, 'that you are in violation of the Neighborhood Covenant prohibiting signs affixed to the sides of houses in this particular suburb.'

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Teacher Lady called Daughter and Daughter's Partner in distress -- again -- this time with a mounting agitation, while Teacher Man poured through their copy of the Neighborhood Covenant. 'All signs,' he read, 'must be pre-approved in writing by the Neighborhood Association Board before being displayed in yards or on houses in this particular suburb. And there shall be no herding of goats or sheep or chickens.'

Teacher Man wondered, had the dozens of McCain/Palin signs sprouted from written authorization?

And so it came to pass that Teacher Lady and Teacher Man assumed their fighting stance, to prepare to contest the veiled threat of the Covenant, to protect their right to support their choice for President.